March 2nd 1882 Baptist Chapel Bible Class tea. One of the most agreeable ever attended. I never had so much friendliness shown me at the chapel and meetings as now; I think at one time I had a sort of bearing which was constrained into something like “keep your distance”. I could not help it, but when any were too familiar it touched my dignity and I endeavoured to check them without showing it. Eighteen months ago I prayed that if by throwing off all reserve I could glorify God more and be more successful in my work, he would give me grace to do it. Now I seem to have gained the point I then wished to. The poor are so different to me now, and I actually find that what apparently draws them to me makes the richer folk more familiar with me too. Oh how many grand points in life we miss by incapacity to act our part as nobly as we might!

Little did the dear friends at that tea know how soon I shall leave them! They will be sorry to lose me; and I can truthfully add it grieves me to leave them; and to leave my loving relatives; and yet, I long to go and join the one I love; Oh God do let me, with him enjoy thy smile and future years prove that thou hast led me there. I want to work for Jesus. I want to live for others. I hope no want of wisdom will result in pettishness that will grieve dear Tom, but that all will be as placid and happy as he hope it will. This is Saturday March 5th, only 4 more Sundays; just over 3 weeks – come happy time I say; yet linger, linger, these few happy weeks, talk of two minds, I have them indeed just now – one for staying one for going.”

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